Is it possible?

My thoughts have been so random lately. I haven't been sleeping well either. I have recently started having panic attacks and have started a new medication to help ease these. I am finding myself being more productive since taking this medication. I am wondering if it the medication that is causing this sudden increase in productivity or am I just trying to quiet the frightening thoughts within.
I recently had a conversation with the new boyfriend  after a particularly bad night. I had woke up sobbing and screaming but had no idea what I was afraid of. He told me that I had been saying things like "I want to go home", "Get away from me", "Don't touch me", "Leave me alone." all complete with kicking and hitting and jerking around. The next morning we had a long conversation about the night before and what all it could mean. He informed me that more often than not I talk like this in my sleep and I am always jerking and kicking throughout the night. He asked me if I had ever been abused as a child. My reply was instantly no. I mean I have no recollection of it so that means it never happened, right? I mean I have a killer memory. I live for details and can remember things that others have long forgotten. I remember most of my childhood starting at the age of 4. And if something had happened to me wouldn't my parents have mentioned it? And why now? Why would I just now start talking in my sleep like this? I mean I spent 13 years with my ex-husband and he never once mentioned me talking or crying in my sleep.
The more I thought about all of this, the more aware I became that something could be hiding in my subconscious and it may just be something that has had a dramatic effect on who I am and the way my mind works today. Scary to think that my self-destructive behavior might actually have a basis and not just me because of my crazy mind. It would almost be as though my behavior is justified?? The idea kind has me baffled. I can't decide if I even want to know or not. On one hand it might bring me some peace but on the other the truth could possibly change the way I feel about someone potentially close to me. And that's just assuming that there even was an incident of abuse. If not then I am actually still just crazy. It some ways I find comfort in just assuming my way of thinking is messed up.
So as all of these thoughts are swirling around in my head along with all of the other stresses of life I tend to try to bury, I am extremely thankful for the appointment I have with my therapist in a few days. I plan on talking to her about these thoughts and that has me a little nervous. In the past we have concentrated on the flaws in my personality that I am unhappy with and looked for ways to combat these. This will definitely be a change in the old therapy session. I am also thankful for the support of my boyfriend...for wanting to help me improve my life...for caring about me enough to stand beside me while I try to figure it all out...for promising to stay by my side and help in any way he can. I have truly found love with this amazing man.