Bittersweet

Yesterday I took Alex on a mini-vacation to Holiday World. I have been looking forward to this for several weeks. The day before I started feeling really anxious; mostly about other areas of my life. I was extremely anxious yesterday and had a lot of trouble actually relaxing and enjoying my day. I found myself losing my patience with Alex several times. Although he was a little whiny, I still could have handled him better. I wanted so much for the two of us to enjoy the day and it made me sad that I was unable to just let go of the things that were bothering me and just have fun.
Also Alex saw the fresh marks on my arm and asked me what had happened. I  told him I had gotten scratched by me keys. He then proceeded to tell me that the first time I said I had gotten scratched by a cat and the second time by a tree and now by my keys. He asked me what was happening. I couldn't answer him and felt like crying. This is something I have continually worried about; how to tell Alex what is really going on with me. However, I have no idea what to say or whether to say anything at this point. For those who know me, I am a very honest person. Even if I don't share the details with Alex now, I know that I will some day.
My son has more love for me than anyone in my life. He gave me lots of hugs and kisses yesterday which helped me more than he will ever know. He is a great kid and I hope we will always stay close.